


The Dankest Meme

by ermayzing



Series: The Dank Meme Chronicles [3]
Category: Dank Memes (Internet)
Genre: Gen, Memes, The illuminati - Freeform, piles and categories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:43:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5370662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermayzing/pseuds/ermayzing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An explanation about memes and how they are classified.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dankest Meme

**Author's Note:**

> written on October 19, 2015.
> 
>  
> 
> (((I can't write in Comic Sans because AO3 doesn't have that option hah.)))

The Dankest Meme to ever exist. That’s a strange concept, right? If you ask about it, some people will say that it never existed. Others, well, they’ll say it’s hidden within the Kanye Chest on Pepe Peak Mountain. And although you would think that is the ideal place to keep such an ancient relic, you would never find it if you looked there. You see, they’re all wrong. It isn’t hidden at all. In fact, it’s here, in plain sight.

Now, firstly, I know what you must be thinking. Which meme family does the Dank Meme belong to? Does it belong to the Pepe Family? Or perhaps the Ogrelord Family? The John Cena Clan? The answer is: none of them! The Dankest Meme belongs to the mothership of the meme families: The Dank Meme District.

The Dank Meme District is home to all the best memes. It holds everything from Snoop Dogg to Spoderman to Shrek, and more. Within the Dank Meme District, there are four distinct groups that the memes are sorted into. First is the **Reject/Outdated** pile, containing old and overused memes such as Rage Comics, Bad Luck Brian, Overly Attached Girlfriend, and so on. Next we have the **New/Upcoming** pile. The way this works is, when someone attempts to create a new meme, or when a meme is on its way to potential fame, it is stored here, where it is trained and put into mass circulation to determine its success. If the meme does not go viral, it will go to the aforementioned Reject pile. However, in the event that it does gain a substantial amount of attention, it will be forwarded to the **Official Meme** pile. This is where all memes come together. Inside this pile you can find all sorts of popular, ongoing memes. This pile is sometimes also referred to as the “buffer” pile. Certain memes soar high above expectations, permanently impacting the world of memes. If a meme does this… yes, you guessed it. It will be promoted to the **Dank Meme** pile. Now, as you probably know, it is hard to maintain a dank persona. Occasionally there will be a meme that has run its course and loses its dankness, therefore it must go back to the Official Meme pile (these memes are often called “Dank Veterans,” and are regarded as royalty upon return to the Official Meme pile). Dank memes come from everywhere, and there is no way to predict what the next dank meme will be. Memes are mysterious entities.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. If there are all these piles, there _must_ be someone who manages them. There must be a captain on this ever-sailing ship, right? Right! Like all businesses and organizations, the Dank Meme District does in fact have one ruler that oversees everything. This ruler is, of course…

The Illuminati. They are responsible for the management of all the memes. Their demand for order and perfection makes them the ideal leader. Three ground rules are in place over the Dank Meme District due to their ruling. First, “The Illuminati” must _always_ be written in Comic Sans out of respect for them and their dankness. Second, the memes within the Outdated/Reject pile and the New/Upcoming pile must address The Illuminati as “Your Dankness” or “The Dankest,” otherwise they will immediately be ignited and thrown out of the Dank Meme District and into the real world in the form of some repulsive earthly object such as Crocs, Ugg boots, or a flip phone. And finally, the third rule, is that each meme must have knowledge of wifi signals and distribution. If a meme is unable to distribute itself, it serves no purpose and will be disowned due to its inability to thrive. Memes in the Dank Meme pile are gifted their own personalized wifi signal upon promotion, enabling them to distribute themselves whenever and however they please. Apart from them, the majority of memes must go through special training on how to distribute themselves efficiently, as well as on how to create a wifi signal, in the case that they’re ever in an area where there isn’t one nearby.

By this point you may be wondering if the Dankest Meme will ever be revealed. And I applaud you for being so patient. But I’m afraid that question cannot be answered by me alone. You see, the Dankest Meme is not a physical object. The Dankest Meme is but a concept, conjured up from the deepest minds and placed into the atmosphere, roaming free. The Dankest Meme cannot be seen, or touched… but it can be felt. Right now, do you feel it? Of course you do. You feel it all the time. You feel it before the drop on a rollercoaster, you feel it when you’re playing a horror game, and sometimes you find your mind wandering late at night, thinking of the inevitability of death and what you are compared to everything else in the universe, and you feel it then. It’s that feeling of terror and doubt which lingers in your mind. What are you? What is your purpose? You don’t know what’s out there, you never will. It’s that feeling.

So there is your answer. The Dankest Meme has been revealed. No, it is not you. It is not able to be seen. The Dankest Memes never are meant to be seen.

The Dankest Meme comes from within.

_Existentialism._


End file.
